Return to normal view

Resolving Disputes

Communication is the key to resolving disputes, so it pays to try speaking to the people involved first.

Sometimes discussing a problem can seem difficult, especially if the things you need to discuss are highly emotive. People sometimes forget that they have common interests and may want an ongoing relationship once the dispute is over.

If your discussions are not progressing, it helps to have outside assistance to improve communication. The Dispute Settlement Centre of Victoria (DSCV) provides a free service that can help you to discuss the problem and find a solution, in an informal and cooperative way.

Tips for better communication

Face-to-face communication is usually better than letters, messages or talking to others (rather than the person you are in conflict with), unless there is the threat of violence.

Choose the right time and allow enough time. Don't start talking when the other person is obviously busy or doesn't have enough time to deal with the problem adequately.

Think ahead about what you have to say. State clearly what the problem is for you and how you feel about it.

Listen to their side of the story. Be prepared to learn something you didn't know. Acknowledge what they have said, to reassure them you have heard what they have had to say.

Assure them that you are willing to resolve the problem.

Attack the problem, not the person. Don't blame the other person, interpret their behaviour or threaten them. People working on a problem together get further than one person telling the other they have to change.

Look for solutions and compromises so that everyone gets what they need.

Agree on a time in the future to review the agreements, to see how things are going and if they need to be modified.

Involving the authorities

There are many ways to resolve disputes. You may work out a solution between yourselves, or you may involve solicitors, the council, police or other authorities. The situation can become more difficult than necessary if you involve the authorities before you try to discuss the problem with your neighbour and resolve the problem together.

The 'disputeinfo' website has step-by-step guides to common disputes.